I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
