Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
