Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize