Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
