We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
