i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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