god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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