In the future we'll all be gay
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
