batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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