Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
