Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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