She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Me too!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
