dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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