I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
