id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
