Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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