Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
please come you make the beer taste better
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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