I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
