My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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