If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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