is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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