I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
