haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
