I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
