All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize