So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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