I hate your face
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
