this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
