oh god the rape fog is back!
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
