that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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