Whod you bang
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
