my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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