On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize