youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
