i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
