How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
