listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I touched a dick in church today
Dear god my vagina.
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