I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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