so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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