This is not my ceiling
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
