Non-Jews are for practice
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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