She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
