I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
