then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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