The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
