Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
