You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
50% drunk capacity currently
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
