Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
