You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
FUCK WHALES
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize