first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
