oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
His nipple licking is glorious
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