This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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