if i died would you start the facebook group?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
