Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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