Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
