He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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