at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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