You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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