so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
